I wish I could put my mind on pause for that time when the gentle softness of sleep suddenly ends and my mind immediately starts shouting orders.
But, it seems for me, at least, the two states of con- sciousness collide harshly, leaving no soft gently lit hallway of time through which I can travel slowly awaking refreshed and blissfully unaware of very much at all.
Mondays, it seems is especially difficult.
I want to stay forever on my fluffy cloud of nothing- ness, not wanting to face the hour, the day, indeed, the week.
This Monday was a prime example.
This Monday, I did not have time to even ease my way into the work day with a cup of coffee, waiting for the pleasant buzz that comes from such a delicious jolt of caffeine while I contemplate life and its meaning in a detached state of semi consciousness.
No. I had to go running.
It all started with my kids who, in spite of their upbringing, which I think may have involve unhealthy food like Cheerios and probably too much television, have become extremely health conscious and active.
They all wear Fitbits and they all run a ridiculously long way almost every day and they don’t even drink Diet Coke. They definetly do not have snacks in their pantry like peanuts which apparently will add 300 calories to your daily intake if you so much as breathe on them.
I love my kids, I really do, but their behavior makes me want to have a nap and shuffle over to my brand new shiny white fridge for some of that cheese cake I know is hiding in there.
But instead, because of their influence on me, I have downloaded this little app on my phone which, apparently, will help me go from a couch potato to a five K runner.
Even downloading it made me tired.
No doubt, I made the choice with the less active side of my brain, I’m thinking as I start out on my journey to become a five K runner and not a couch vegetable.
“Begin your workout now,” the cheerful voice says. “Do a five-minute warm up walk.”
All too soon the five-minute warm up walk is over and I am running for a minute, walking for two. And I feel good, man. I feel charged. And then that silly little voice comes on again. I am, what? I am only half way through? I have to do this all again!
I sigh, well, at least I would sigh, if I had enough breath left.
Finally, I am done. I bounce up my steps, like a slightly overweight bunny thinking of coffee and other rewards that await me like a kitchen chair which I can collapse on.
As I sip my coffee, I feel all good and proud of myself and pleased I did not succumb to desire and stay in bed.
It is a soft morning, a happy morning.
The sun drips warmth on the gentle green leaves and tender shoots of grass and even the dandelions look kind of pretty.
I drink in all this beauty, mentally scorning my other self, my lower self who wanted to stay buried under my little cocoon of blankets and not experience this natural high.
I take another sip of coffee, basking in the feeling of being amazed by me.
So that was Monday. Only one day!
Now I have to do it again. I sigh! It truly is a long journey.