Parents’ actions have a long-lasting effect on children who are more often than not innocent bystanders subjected to situations they have little or no control over.
Guest speaker at Rimbey’s information fair, Rita Dillon, injected a serious note into the fair when she talked about the devastating effect parents’ actions can have on their children.
She noted physical violence is only one type of abuse and often the most easy to recognize but it is not the most damaging.
“Family violence is treating our partner without respect and it scares the kids,” said Dillon, the program director with the Drayton Valley Comprehensive Family Violence Institute.
Dillon said six-year-olds, who watch their parents give each other the silent treatment for days on end assume they are the root of the problem.
“At that age they believe they are the cause of everything that ever happens,” she said.
Dillon explained arguing, fighting, name-calling, yelling, pushing, stomping around and prolonged and hostile silent treatment, threatening to leave and prolonged absences can cause children to fear for themselves and their parents.
“For children, these actions by their caregivers can be just as destructive as physical violence.”
She said children who are exposed to these actions may act out by being noisy, aggressive, hyperactive, bragging, bullying, swearing and starting fights. These children may complain of headaches, stomach aches and nausea. They may also be diagnosed with ADD and/or ADHD.
Children who internalize their emotions may try very hard to please and almost suffocate their caregiver by shadowing their every move. They may have little interest in having fun, daydream, withdraw and have sad faces and work hard at becoming the ‘perfect kid.’