ANN ANONYMOUS/Teen Columnist
Even though we may not want to admit it, there are some people we just don’t get along with; people we don’t want to become close with. That is completely fair, and is a part of human nature. The hard part about not crossing a line is keeping your judgments to yourself. Holding back those comments that don’t forward the world at all can be so difficult and maddening at times. Learning those judgments that turn you sour inside reflect on you as a person. Self-acknowledging your tendency to judge is a major step you can take to the suppression of callous words or verdicts you make that, sometimes, slip right off your tongue.
If you can avoid the people you don’t have kind feelings for, do so, but in many situations, that is nearly impossible if you attend a school or social events with them, if you work with them, or possibly even live with them. When expressing these hard findings, you may perhaps anger people easily and possibly insult them without meaning to do so. The necessity to learn how to be calm and not so reactive to others situations around you, is momentous. Although these people may be irritating, you never want to purposely insult them, this can in turn make you seem insecure and overall hypercritical.
Holding someone in judgment does not allow any room for forgiveness. Most of the time, poor opinions held against someone result from bad personal experiences. If you are never willing to let go of these ill involvements, you don’t allow yourself to move on, grow, and create better, new replacing understandings.
To not forgive is not only condemning the person you are denying compassion to, but it is also condemning yourself; to the same stalemate you hold with this person. Never moving forward, and denying the relationship and experiences you could have with this person.
Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements” talks about a code of life. That code has four main oints:
1. Let your word be impeccable
2. Don’t take everything personally
3. Never make assumptions
4. Always do your best
These ideals come from the ancient Toltec wisdom from Southern Mexico. This book was published in 1997 and holds just as much influence as it did then. To be able to follow these guidance’s has led many to a more awakened state of mind and live without the excess drama that many of us today can’t live without.
To add ‘live without judgment’ would be amazing and uplifting, but I don’t believe it’s fully possible. Judgments allow you to see where you need to go in life. When making these verdicts, remember that by being authentic to the legacy you want to lead, you further your chances of getting there.