All you federal Conservative supporters/detractors will be happy/upset to know that the editor has decided to take the high road for the next several weeks. While he says he feels like a starving pitbull chomping at the bit to tear one particular federal party and its leader a new corn chute over the upcoming election, professional ethics dictate that since we’re in the midst of a campaign, he has decided to wave the white flag of neutrality– at least until it’s over, and has promised to do his very best to keep out of it and not to try to sway voters one way or another.
Besides, as he points out, it doesn’t matter what the editor says and it doesn’t even matter what the politicians say; what really matters is what you the voter says. It’s also very important to remind the public – as submitter Connie Jensen of Buck Lake writes so eloquently in her letter over on Page 5, that there are thousands upon thousands of Canadians buried all over the world who gave their lives not only for our country, but to protect our right to be able to cast a ballot for whoever we think is the most capable of running Canada and it’s up to all of us to ensure that they did not die in vain.
So over the next extended period of time, readers can expect things to get pretty dull and mundane on the old Editorial Page – or should that be the past, extended period of time?
Either way, as much as it pains the editor, there’ll be no bashing of any federal political party or political figure here – which for the record, by no means, is letting provincial politicians off the hook.
Furthermore, he has come to the conclusion that most of you have probably had your fill of football columns for a while and he has also pledged to try his darnedest not to mention one CFL team in particular who happens to wear Green and White and still holds down first place in the league.
So having said all that, here’s an unofficial schedule of what you’ll probably be subjected to over the next month or so on Page 4, including: another column or two from the Canadian Taxpayers Federation; possibly a special guest editorial or two; perhaps a review of the upcoming Alice Cooper visit to Red Deer, and that old standby that fills space rather nicely in situations such as these: quotes.
So seeing as how the editor is trying really hard not to overly dwell on politics and/or football, here’s some examples that touch on one or the other, and in one case, both.
Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein.
– Joe Theismann
I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
– Charles De Gaulle
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
– Erma Bombeck
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
– Ronald Reagan
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important.
– Eugene McCarthy
Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.
– Paul Valery
My life is like a zombie movie! I survive game after game after game, but the football just keeps coming! The only way to stop team sports is to aim for the head.
– Matt Milby
The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.
– Larry Hardiman
Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.
– Oliver Wendell Holmes
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.
– Ernest Benn
Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don’t like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that.
– Bill Shankly
Gerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.
– Lyndon Baines Johnson
Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
– Lester B. Pearson
College football would be more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students – there would be a great increase in broken arms, legs and necks.
– H. L. Mencken
In closing, the editor – like all politicians, acknowledges that promises are made to be broken and are usually rescinded in very short order. So with that, let’s close things out with this funny submitted by Page 4’s newest buddy John Vogelaar out in Bentley who says even though it’s barely started, he’s already sick and tired of election coverage.
There was a Riders fan with a really lousy seat at Taylor Field. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 55-yard line. Thinking to himself, “what a waste,” he made his way down to the empty seat.
When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it: “Is this seat taken?”
The man replied, “This was my wife’s seat. She passed away. She was a big Riders fan.”
“I’m so sorry to hear of your loss,” the other man replied, “may I ask why you didn’t give the ticket to a friend or a relative?”
The man replied, “They’re all at the funeral.”