Trust needed to get over fear of rejection


ANN ANONYMOUS / Teen Columnist

Some people, like me, have an inhibiting personality trait – extreme shyness. I have talked a great deal about it, although I refer back to it once again for those of you who can relate, you also know that we cannot seem to ask for help when we need it sometimes. Whether it be the shyness, or a fear of rejection, I am still unconvinced that by merely asking there are things to help me.

I think that past experiences of rejection have taught me to fear future encounters. To trust someone enough to ask for help requires a certain amount of background and reliance in a given relationship. To be shut down after attempting to reach out to someone is extremely disappointing and hurtful.

What we all need to remember is, don’t be afraid to be rejected when you ask for help. Some people don’t have the integrity or personal courage to tell you they are unable to support and assist you, so instead they turn you away. Although it leaves you sometimes hurt, and maybe a little confused, remind yourself that their denial is not that they don’t want to help you, it’s that they don’t have the skills or knowledge needed to do so.

When I need help, I tend to have to work myself up to asking. Prepare myself. I go through each scenario in my head that can occur, but I work myself up to the point that I am too nervous to ask a simple question. There must be some people out there like me. Together let’s realize and conquer our fears of not being accepted. I am proposing yet another commitment to ourselves as growing, changing individuals. I know personally I would love to embrace a new strength and shed my anxious exterior and start fresh. I own the ability to ask for help when I truly need it, without the constant fear of being dismissed.

Let’s remember that rejection can never be avoided entirely, but sometimes it isn’t our issue at all.

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