Reflections on the pros and cons of friendships

Friendships! Some are ordinary and some can cause more bad times than good.

TAYLOR SNELL

Work Experience

Friendships!

Some are ordinary and some can cause more bad times than good. No matter what, friends help shape us. They can teach us both good and bad lessons, and they can open us up to new and exciting things. With that said there is always one friend you always end up going back to even if they drive you insane some days.

That is the one friend you will always be there for and whom will always be there for you. I have one of those. We have had our ups and downs but no matter what I will always keep her in my heart.

This article will be the story of that relationship, and how I have learned so much from my friend’s beautiful mind, but, at times, blurred thoughts. Also how I continue to help her in the struggles each of us face today, and how she has helped me.

In the beginning I remember being very unsure about pursuing a friendship with her, but this girl’s contagious smile and her unique way of putting herself out there was impossible to avoid. We were in the same small school and it was hard to not have a relationship of some sort with every student. I decided to talk to her one day at school. Surprised, I found out how many similarities we shared. She liked this band, so did I, and silly things came to light like our appreciation for delicious cheesy potatoes. Just those little similarities pushed us to keep talking and soon enough we were joined at the hip! Our time together was fun and we took on every day with a ton of love and uniqueness. We were always doing something. She gave me some of my happiest times in my life, thus far.

It almost seemed as though we needed each other to live. I was a parachute wrapped around her tight as we jumped head first into the friendship that would forever change our lives.

Sadly the friendship we shared took a frightening turn for the worst. Some of the similarities we shared were lack of self-esteem and other negative issues. Buried underneath, hidden from our nearest and dearest, were these hurt and beaten down girls. We felt as though nothing or no one could make us happy except for one another.

We were drifting away from reality. It was us against the world. We helped each other through our issues for a while but soon my friend hit the breaking point and there was no more help I could give her to drain out the pain.

She turned her back on everything she promised me and most importantly, herself. Growing numb and dark, without realizing it, our friendship was falling apart. We were both hanging on by a thread.

We made plans to run away, to be our own people and live in peace. At first I couldn’t agree with my friend more. Running from all that seemed bad at the time, sounded ideal. When everything started to turn bad, really bad, I began to realize there was no way we could run. There was no money, no real place to run to, and I couldn’t leave my family behind, even though feelings of anger and frustration were brewing up inside me. My friend was indulging in negative behaviours including self-abuse and I knew I had to tell her, “no” and walk away.

I wasn’t giving up on our friendship but I knew that’s what needed to be said and done in order for us to heal; mentally and physically. Saying no to my best friend was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but I wasn’t sad because I knew I would be able to call her my friend again one day.

Now, two years later we are beginning to repair our relationship. Many things have changed. I have matured substantially, and, for the most part, I’m a very happy young lady. When it comes to my friend, she still struggles with many things. It makes me upset to see this girl I love so much going through hard times. Even though she is in a weird and somewhat scary part of her life, she is one of the strongest people I know.

I am so privileged to have an amazing and strong person like her in my life. I will always be there for her. I would literally give her the shirt off my back, only asking a simple smile in return. Now that we are both on good terms and speaking again, I have noticed that we are both very sorry for the things said and done. We both apologized to each other and moved on. That’s what a real friendship should be like.

Live and learn, forgive and forget, understand the other person and hope they understand you.

Most of all respect your friend and be there for him or her, no matter what. I’m ending this article with one of my favorite quotes about friendship. “True friends are those who came into your life, saw the most negative part of you, but are not ready to leave you, no matter how contagious you are to them.” – Michael Bassey Johnson